Tuesday, January 31, 2023

 The War in My Head


On that fateful day, back in 1975

Your wretched presence entered my body...my mind

I was unarguably possessed by you

You took hold and my breathing became heavy

as I lay there, helpless, in a little four year-old body

How could you do such a thing?

What was that feeling in my chest?

"What is wrong with me? Am I sick?"

Her lips, hair, her skin... were now instruments of torture

A child that young shouldn't witness or feel such things.... these horrible things 

Her braided hair...her rugby shirt... they became weapons 

In a fantasy realm we kissed, and spun round and round...but this unfounded gyration

was just the first of the many torturous horrors that awaited me


There began the war in my head....but no one showed up


I remember her white, flowing gown, where she walked among our peers

and sat down beside them, confident and triumphant, as if on a stage

Her eyes, a glistening green...her hair... a dandelion

These too became the sharpest daggers

Again, the putrid occupation of my body commenced

The squalor that was my chest, heaved once again

god.... make it stop...I beg of you...please


But the inconsolable battles continued and raged on, mercilessly 

day, after day.... year after year

and rage on like a never-ending swarm of locusts

My only defense is the song, and my immovable reason


Thank god for you


Every day, the hideous, amorphous shape attacks

But my Reason is like the mighty Ajax, slicing through it

To it, I say: I hate you more than words could ever attempt to describe

Every atom in my body is programmed to attempt your utter annihilation

Every second of every day that you come at me, my Reason will be there, waiting

to attempt your absolute destruction


There is no doubt 

This is a fight to the death

You will remember me, and pay for what you did

I will undoubtedly leave a mark

whether it be a mere line on you

a puncture, wound, gash, or laceration

You will remember me and my mark, for all time....

Even if you are victorious